Immaculate

(if:$ending is false)[Do you know what it means to be beautiful? Some believe it is jewels, some believe it is body, and some believe it is purity. How will you acquire the object of your desire? [[Jewels]] [[Purity]]] (if: $ending is true and $truth is false)[Ah, so you've walked this road before, child, here to desperately right your wrongs... to redeem oneself. I am not an unreasonably deity, my business is atonement. How drastically you fell in the interest of //love.// Pitiful mortals, looking for something to fill the void... It's almost admirable. [[Walk on]], wandering soul.^^2^^] (if:$ending is true and $truth is true)[Are you sure you would like to watch yourself fall again, time and time before? You already have what you wanted, no? Surely you are not ungrateful[[?->Walk on]]]

So, you believe that beauty is found in extravagance, that money shall buy beauty. But have your attempts been found useful? [[Yes->Money is Beauty]] [[No->Money is not Beauty]]

So, you believe that purity is the ultimate form of beauty. My, my, and what have you done to achieve such? For none of us are pure of heart, for none of us are pure. We are creatures of disgust, we are creatures of malice and envy. [[Yes->Purity is Beauty]] [[No->Purity is Not Beauty]]

Money is beauty, the allure, the riches, anyone can become beautiful so long as you are rich enough. After all, there's nothing you can't afford to have, to change oneself so fundamentally with riches. But the acquisition of money is difficult, unless you were born into it. Will you acquire it through [[honest]] means, or will you acquire it through something more [[dishonest]]?

Oh, so you've [[changed your mind?->I don't know what beauty is]] Good choice, little one. Money cannot buy everything, and surely not the intangible kinds of beauty.

Ah, the pure of heart, the pure of being, for they shall be venerated for being the most beautiful, the most inspiring of them all. They will be those who are most sought after. Money and body are fleeting at best, but one's heart is forever. It beats strong and true, for a certain attempt at justice, but your heart's desire still doesn't look your way. They only have eyes for another, one who is not you. You wonder what it is that you do not have, and decide it must be because you are not pure enough. Old texts describe purity in a number of ways, [[cleanliness]], [[fasting]] and [[kindness]]

[[I changed my mind->I don't know what beauty is]]

Truly, it is best to admit ignorance, a mark of humility, would you like to try again? [[Please->Beauty]] [[No, thank you->credits]]

So, you desire to gain money in an honest fashion. By toiling away at the endless monotony of life, futilely hoping for better pay, futilely hoping in the American Dream, the mirage that hard work alone will grant all one desires. You work long hours for mere scraps, but all that you desire lies higher than that. You stare at celebrities who seem to have it all, who seem to have riches and extravagance. Does it not anger you? That they have everything already and they keep hoarding it all? [[Oh, you naive soul]].

Ah, deception and trickery are not without consideration, not in your eyes. You watch as people fall into the lies of the rich, that they too can become anything so long as they work hard enough. But you know those mere scraps will never amount to anything, not as long as the strings are pulled by avaricious. They already have everything they could possibly need, and yet they do not give out. They actively suppress those who speak out against them. It is time someone put them in their place. Theft against avarice is not truly a sin, for it is simply taking back what's been stolen from you. A few things go missing, but they always seem to. Mindless workers too frazzled to keep everything in one piece... [[but at some point]] it all feels a little too dirty, a little too disingenuous... not when the object of your desire has a gaze that weighs so heavy against these //means.//

Cleanliness is next to godliness, they say. You desire to be clean of body, [[scouring oneself]] to be rid of all the grime, but maybe something [[softer]] will benefit in the long term.

Old religions say that purity was through sacrifice, and meals were the most adequate sacrifice. To not be gluttonous or avaricious, but to forge a soul stronger, who was beautiful in its lack of burden. Scarcity was beautiful, even as your [[hunger]] grew.

Kindness, O kindness. Virtuous and true. You extend such kindness to your desire; there's a certain look in their eyes, they sparkle like you've never seen before. Their beaming fills your soul, and it's the brightest you've seen them in a while. The kindness, however, is seldom returned, but that's okay, for them it's worth it. [[showing them kindness]] was never a chore, but sometimes it left an [[ill taste]]

(set:$violence to true) A little pain was a worthy sacrifice for beauty and happiness. You rub your skin raw until all the dirt falls off, until the water is tainted with dark. The experience is refreshing, to feel the pain and knowing that you felt the change. Yes, cleanliness is next to godliness. You call up your desire, to show off what you've done, to show off this newfound beauty through a pain in which you never thought to try before. Good things require sacrifices, do they not? Your desire stares in bewilderment at the [[raw skin]], demanding what has happened.

Perhaps being kind to your body and gently cleansing your skin will benefit better than being harsh. Standing and staring at the mirror leaves a refreshing feeling, that you could conquer the world. And so, you meet with your desire to show off your beauty. But your desire does not look your way, instead staring at a woman in the distance and telling you how infatuated they are with her. (set:$softer to true) And so, you try again, but rougher, this time. Cleanliness was not an option, not anymore. To try and try again until you felt clean... only then would you be [[worthy.->raw skin]] (set:$hunger to true)

At least they're sweet and considerate, that they wish to help you since the reddened skin must be worse than you thought. They dote and care for you, they give you almost anything you could ask for, because truly, //you look like you're struggling// they say. But your heart is sealed for a love that is unrequited, as they do not stare at you with a light in their eyes. (if:$softer is true)[A certain gentleness was tried, a certain attempt to be kind to oneself, even. it's all for nothing. ] [[all for nothing...->look your way.]](set:$anything to false)

Your stomach growls for something more, hungry, hungry, hungry. It craves and cries for something, the barest hints of anything. Desperation clouds your vision, to [[eat]] or [[not to eat]]

You told yourself it was fine, and it was //really// it was fine! But you sometimes yearned for something more, and it left a [[hole in your heart]]. But you would give and [[give]], for them you would [[do anything]] (set:$kindness to true)

The fact that they never gave back made it feel like some futile thing, even as they beam. Toiling and toiling were you, for blind eyes and deaf ears. The air filled with spite, in some desire to get acknowledgement for your work. But they did not look your way. They did not [[look your way.]]

//look my way. look my way, please. look at all I've done for you// you want to scream. //please, please, I've tried so hard! Why will you [[not acknowledge me]]// //after everything I've done, (if:$violence is true)[my heart, it bleeds for you.] (if:$hunger is true)[please, sate my heart.](if:$kindness is true)[ I've shown you kindness, why will you not show me it, please, I beg of you, or perhaps you may regret it.]// (if:$violence is true)[(set:$hunger to false)](if:$hunger is true)[(set:$violence to false)]

the emptiness in your heart begins to fill with a certain despair (set:$hunger to true), and clearly there's no reason to be kind anymore. The jubilation has faded from their eyes, as they stare blankly at this [[new normal.->look your way.]](set:$anything to false)

give and give and give, give 'til there's nothing left. 'til your heart is empty and torn. You give and give for nothing, you become a certain shell of yourself. Everyone around you tells you to stop, everyone around you tells you that love isn't worth this grief. [[But what is love if not strife for another?->look your way.]] (set:$hunger to true)(set:$anything to false)

you would do anything for them, [[//anything//->look your way.]] (set:$violence to true)(set:$anything to true)

They do not acknowledge your kindness, they do not acknowledge the idea of purity, not at such a disgusting level as your own. Old texts tell of a [[world of desires]], where one could purify their desires, and become beautiful. (if:$anything is false)[ [[But is it really worth it?]]]

The world of desires is a simple recitation away, a simple prayer of words in languages lost. Your body feels strange and your eyes must deceive you, for you are still exactly where you were. Everything feels darker though, with no sun in the sky, but only pitch and the electric lights which flicker weakly to their normal counterparts. The art of purification must force one to believe that they will lose that which is most precious to them, to understand if it's truly what they'd give everything to protect. But one cannot do this to themselves, for knowing your own truest desires drives even the sanest men to desperation and death. [[and so you delve]].

A little more research into the subject never hurt anyone... The world of desires is a terrifying place, where souls go mad to protect the thing they cherish most. But desires can be purified by stealing away its darkest parts, with legends even saying that consumption made one pure. But they say to never try to find your own, for it will destroy one's psyche to discover their truest self through such dishonest means. [[Safety]] is unbearable, but [[risk->and so you delve]] could be worth the reward.

You crumble underneath their gaze. Honest methods are futile, and others are fleeting and superficial. What can you possibly do for them to [[look your way.]] (set:$violence to false)(set:$anything to false)

Did you really think honesty would work? Poor, poor soul, as you sit there unnoticed by the world, by the object of your desire, you want them to [[look your way.]] (set:$hunger to true) (set:$anything to false)

The other world is dark, dreary and leaves you with a permeating chill. The streets are filled with dark shadows that look human enough, but once approached shift into something unrecognizable. They hide in the dark, each with a single glowing heart laying in their chest. Each beat of their heart pulses with light. Silhouettes of familiar faces; it would feel like a normal night, but the streetlamps keep flickering, struggling in a soul-draining world. It makes your skin crawl and paranoia creeps in, that the eyeless shadows are still watching from all angles, waiting for the slightest deviation to destroy you. Everything seems to have eyes and ears, with bloodthirsty creatures' shadows in every corner. What an ugly world this was, how ugly were those desires. Their hearts in their chests... but they were not ready yet. Create a panic, a conscious fear in their real counterpart, to purify... [[to be beautiful...]]

No, no, it was too dangerous, madness? For one person? But they were the only person who mattered to you anymore, they were the only person to make the world worth it... to [[live in despair]]...

//Coward, sniveling fool. Look at yourself, disgusting creature, so longing for a companion, but too weak-hearted to take what you desire. Lay here and watch as everything you love is taken away, all because you're too scared for anything.// (cycling-link:"...","to live alone","to live unloved","to live in emptiness","to live without","") (more:)[= [[to live...->Ending]] (set:$despair to true)

You longed to be beautiful, you longed to be better than you were. You wanted someone to finally acknowledge you for yourself, as wholly their own. But the one you wanted refused to look at you, gaze far, far away, somewhere you would not be able to reach. Purification of another's heart, another's being, almost. [[You could be beautiful then...]] To be the one who cleanses souls, to save them, surely that itself is a mark of beauty...

//Beautiful, O beautiful, look at what you've done... causing panic and fear for your own selfish desires. Does your body still feel like your own? Do you feel at home, knowing that you've been wreaking havoc?// They don't understand, it's for their benefit, to put the fear of losing their most precious thing before pulling apart their heart in the dark reflection. They'll be free of their vices... You're saving them this way, you're saving them... You're pure, you're pure, you're pure.... You have to be pure, there's no other alternative, you have to be you have to[[--]] (if:$ending is true and $despair is false)[So here was the place where you were meant to redo, the cycle you were meant to get right, stuck in a [[loop]]]

//they hate you, they hate you, look at the fear in their eyes, look at the malice in their hearts. you think you're their savior? what a joke, a mockery of those who truly help. selfish, selfish are you, little one. O sweet child... stop playing silly little// games //you know better than that, [[dearest.]]//

(if:$truth is false)[[...->Blank page]](set:$ending to true) (if:$truth is true)[[[Sluggish, tired, sometimes it feels like there is no end, but slowly...->Blank Page]]]

[[...->Beauty]]

Weeks of exploring, and yet you had nothing to show for it. Roaming the wicked streets and creating panic in reality, you still have an emptiness... a hollowness, to you. There was still no beauty in all these efforts, no beauty, even as you tried to be pure. Purging and capturing hearts, they said that was the method to be beautiful, clean of sin, pure of heart, true beauty... There was one thing you hadn't tried yet, and they say [[you are what you eat]]. These are shadows, darkened shells of others, surely destroying more of them will make you [[better]].

The world shifts and turns, and instead of home lies a grand cathedral, with towering arches and spiked peaks. [[Wails]] echo, bouncing off every surface to make sure they're heard. [[Agonizing]] pain, save me save me save me the wails seemed to say.

Rushing in to help, //how valiant of you, little one, redeem yourself for all your missteps, or will this one be another one?// there lies a figure on the floor, flocked by men in white-gold attire. Their laughs echo as the figure's screams reach higher and higher and higher... They shake you to the very core, but you've nothing but [[hands and teeth]], but it's better than nothing.

High and pained are the screams echoing from inside, [[helping->Wails]] is dangerous, when anything could be inside. It sounds human, though, but everything here is too human but also terrifyingly //not.// //fear, fear, fear. as you step closer to the church, gently, [[quietly...]]//

Let your life begin again, child, for you understand that you cannot deny fate, [[accept]] or [[defy]] it, but it cannot be denied...^^1^^

''Please, please, stop! Please, I beg of you... Please...'' A voice like yours echoes among the cathedral, loud and clear 'til they reach the vaulted ceiling. No one notices your entrance, silent and slow. There are only laughs and the torture resumes. ''Please, what have I done wrong, what have I done to deserve this'' The mob grows closer and closer to the begging figure. You have little to defend yourself with but [[hands and teeth]][[...->Death to Shadows]]

To accept your fate, are you sure? [[Let me live again->defy]] [[I deserve this->credits]]

(if:$despair is false)[defiance, dear oh dear, something of a [[spark]] in you, no? Well, let us try again. You may not be able to change the past, but the future, the future is yours.] (if:$despair is true)[Dear, I know you wish to not love another, but that is what the fates will bring, but now shall you delve into the [[world->spark]] forbidden.]

You only have (if: $hunger is false)[hands and teeth](if:$hunger is true)[claws and fangs](if:$ending is true)[your body, not enough against the horde. But you can try, to atone.] better than [[nothing.]]

The being's screams tear from its chest before coming to a choked cough and a steep silence. The mob that surrounded it disperse, leaving the figure to full display. It's... //you// in their arms, ~~but it's not, it can't be, this is the one of shadow, right?~~ with an empty chest and slackened body. The world twists and turns, and now... //you're on the ground, what is this? help me please, help me// everything twists and turns and you can't feel a thing, you can no longer feel your body. It's dead, it's dead! they cry. (cycling-link:"Your chest is empty,","no heart beats inside it,","not anymore. ","The world is darkening, ","They swarm you... ","you think... ","you can't tell anymore... ","you can't tell anymore...","") (more:)[=[[Oblivion->Ending]] (set:$death to true)

Thanks to Sterithium, the one who helped me put all the pretty code together to make it super extra. Thank you for your near-infinite patience with me and this game, and answering all my questions. GreyPigeon, the one who helped me check the writing to make sure its tone and story was correctly construed, and gave feedback for plotholes. Arso, who helped me develop the idea as its cannikira world, it would have never been nearly as good without the encouragement and reviewing. Without them, this [[game->Beauty]] would not have been possible. Thank you all so much. (if:$truth is true and $ending is true)[= [[Rest, you have no need to atone, child.->Untitled Passage]]

(set:$violence to true) any food will taste good to a starving man, they say. You couldn't disagree, not while everything is delicious to you... you forgot how good everything [[was...->look your way.]](set:$anything to false)

(set:$hunger to true) //practice some self-restraint, child, no one enjoys a [[glutton->look your way.]]// (set:$anything to false)

And so, you devour the next shadow's heart whole... it's got a bitter taste, but not of blood. No, it feels like hiraeth and resentment, a cocktail of one who resents they cannot go back to safety. You feel lighter, though, it feels better. Surely, this must be cleansing. You feel, //so much better,// it's incredible. [[another turn, another time->Untitled Passage 2]] (set:$hunger to true)

The shadows fall quickly to your hands, which weeks of this violence has turned them into claws in the dark, in the underground. It becomes routine, to make them all fall, to purge people of their sins. Destroy their shadows, destroy the darkness. You are their savior[[.->Untitled Passage 2]](set:$violence to true)

Here's the moment you desired to set right, again and again, you wanted their affection. Memories freshly etched. You think that it's something that the gods want for you. Some walk best alone, (if:$despair is false)[ [[but you were not one of them.->You could be beautiful then...]] ](if:$despair is true)[[[but it seemed as if it was not your fate.->and so you delve]]]

(if:$despair is true)[Into the shadowed world to redo, extracting hearts to purify. Here, the grand cathedral lies, spires in the lightless skies. The shrieks, the scorn, cloying and toxic.] (if:$despair is false)[Sins are [[still sins->Untitled Passage 1]], sins... Redo, redo, but some things are set in stone.]

They swarm you, left and right. your senses are dizzy. there's no floor. The heat of candles. the sting of metal Everything's growing dark. (cycling-link:"dark.","dark...","everything","burns.","the smoke","no air","it...","")(more:)[= So fearless, so bold, [[yet so foolish...]]

a cry. the world gains color. you can breathe. a gaunt figure stands above you, something glowing in its hand. It shuffles awkwardly, unsure of its limbs. It is skin wrapped tightly to bones, with nothing else between. It looks at you as you lay on the floor. It extends its other hand, the nails akin to claws, spindly fingers fragile and pale. You shake your head and it retracts the hand, looking shy. Staring at the creature from this angle, it matches your height perhaps, if it straightened up. It looks... (cycling-link: "the hair", "the form", "it's you...","") (more:)[= It is you, neglected, battered, sickly. (cycling-link: "Unkepmt", "unloved", "abandoned","") (more:)[= [[It's you]]

It holds out the heart in its hands, (if: $violence is true)[an offering in blood.](if:$hunger is true)[and after a second, it mimics eating it.](if:$ending is true)[it is you, after all, it knows what you desires.] You stare at it as it cocks its head at you. You take it, (if:$violence is true)[it disappears into a wisp, purged.] (if:$hunger is true)[devouring it in one swoop. It fills your stomach with a certain warmth, a brightness of companionship.](if:$ending is true)[the heart pulses a slow rhythm, as if waiting for judgement. Again and again, but perhaps you will be free of the curse you inflicted on yourself.] Gold-shining eyes stare at you, patiently waiting. For what, you don't know. Do you [[thank it]], it looks [[vicious...]] The heart in its chest lacks the ribs, only skin keeping the organ together. It shutters and startles but the shadow seems unfazed.

Weeks and weeks of (if: $hunger is true)[slaughtering shadows, the only way to sate is that of blood.](if:$violence is true)[devouring hearts, hunger, hunger. Food is no longer digestible, only the hearts in this cracked world fill.] You no longer feel beautiful, but as your heart's desire looks at you in horror, in terror of the potential. They do not know, you're sure, but the terror in their eyes says it all. You will never be loved, you will never be... This world holds you captive forever, allowing you to pretend that you're normal on the surface, but every night it calls you (more:)[[[back.->Untitled Passage 1]]] The world reflects one's true self, one's true desires. You have made yourself into a monster, all for silly pursuits. Love... what was that. Love didn't mean the lengths you were willing to go, not when they do not give you the love you sought. (cycling-link:"they will never look your way,","a monster, nothing worth redeeming,", "selfish, destroying so many for something you cannot be.","Look at how they stare at you in disgust.","O vile creature, atone for your mistakes","") (more:)[=[[O, vile creature, atone for your mistakes->Untitled Passage 1]]

"...thank you." The glowing heart in its chest flares and simmers, as something of a grotesque smile lines its face. It nods eagerly. You can finally breathe, fully, easily. You take a look around. It's a lot easier. Everything is so ornate, with memories trapped in frescos and blood. Golden statues of loved ones stare down upon you, eyes alight with disdain and scorn. There seems to be no end in sight, perhaps it may have catacombs... the architecture seems like it mimics the old cathedrals. But it may simply be best to [[head back]] for tonight[[.->Venture On]] (set:$help to false)

You back up from it. It destroyed those shadows, remember? It may destroy you just as easily. One. Two. Three. The creature stares with fear in its eyes, before falling to the floor. It kneels before you. Garbled words come out from its mouth, "You are... the better one... they tell me... that... And it came true. I will make... things better. Tell... me... what can I do?" You consider its words, [[tell me about this place...->Venture On]] sits on your tongue, but [[it could be lying...->head back]]

The night air is biting, while the hint of a dawn breaks above the skyline. "Hey, I've been worried about you!" a call rings out in the empty. "Hey!" It's your desire's voice, with something akin to concern in their voice. But that can't be right. Not while you've got bloodthirsty hands and a tainted soul. All for them... They're right there, now. "What do you mean?" Surely they aren't talking about you. "You've been really distant these past few weeks. I wanted to give you your space, I figured you were going through some shit. Didn't wanna make it worse, y'know? I'm glad to see you in one piece though. You look like you need a [[hug.]]" [[What?->Whst?]]

You step into the catacombs. votives line the halls, flaring alive as you walk past, only to be blown away after you pass. The skull-lined tunnels make you wonder if it's only aesthetic. Your shadow is nowhere to be seen [[tonight.]] (if:$help is true)[=Venturing in even further causes echoes to sound, it sounds like your name. Distorted and distant, but as you walk, it clears into an unmistakable call. It's them, you told them not to come here. THey didn't listen. There is no way to hide your grotesque, there is no way to hide the atrocity. Let them look upon you and make the same claims.

You concede, into the warmth of their body. They hug you tightly, with a desperation. "You'll be okay," they mutter, "I've got you. I'll take care of you, okay?" You can only nod into them. The guilt weighs heavy, the words waiting on your lips. After not long enough a moment, they let go, and the chill bites against your skin. "You look terrible, have you been taking care of yourself?" "..." "I'll take that as a no. Come on, you gotta take care of yourself!" They've got an odd look of determination. "I've got some soup at home. Let's get you fed and rested." (after:5s)[They grab onto you hand, as if they're going to [[lose it.]]]

"I'm fine. Really. You don't need to worry about me." They eye you suspiciously. "Seriously, I'm fine." They give a stern look, but drop the topic. You stare at your hands, there's no blood coating them, it all fades when you leave, but they feel crusted over, tinted pink. "Don't hesitate to talk to me, though. I want to be able to help you." Surprisingly sweet, but you knkow they'd leave the moment you showed them what you needed help on. "Thanks. I'll keep it in mind." They beam at the answer, and walk on, chattering away to fill the voracious [[silence.]]

They clutch on tightly, until your hands are gross and sweaty. But it's a nice feeling, to be wanted and to be needed. It brings a certain feeling of shame though, the knowledge... They wouldn't be nearly as willing if they knew. It sits on your tongue, everything. So they know. So they can discard you, because of what you are. "I..." "Hm? What's wrong?" "A lot..." "We'll chat when we're [[inside.]]

You head home, into the depths of the dark, alone. Bloodtinge crawls up your arms, the skin looks fine, but the nerves sing with the desire for more. You think of your heart's desire.... how delicious the heart... No! Don't hurt them! Everything inside you rebels against itself. how delicious, how delectable their heart... don't you want to take it for yourself? What a beautiful trophy it would make. devour, devour (after:5s)[=[[how delicious it would be]]

It's a small apartment that they live in, with barely any room to move. The kitchen is only two steps away, and the bedroom and bathroom sit behind you. The small living space, if you could even call it that, sat tucked through a hall. They busy themselves by digging the food out of the refridgerator and sticking it in a pot. A hot bowl sits in front of you after a few minutes. "I know it's not much, but I figure it's better than nothing, especially with how you seem. Could probably use anything right now, huh?" You stare into the bowl, with its steaming contents. You've been running on nothing but (if:$hunger is true)[hearts and blood] (if:$violence is true)[bloodthirst] (if:$ending is true)[emptiness] for weeks. You pick at the food, and the texture makes your stomach revolt. Your desire stares at you expectantly, so you choke down more [[food.]]

You can feel it sitting in your stomach, undigested. They're staring so hopefully that you continue to eat it. It's thin and feels empty. There is no rush of feelings with eating this, other than the rising bile. You push the bowl away, gagging. It's too much. It burns your throat, and you shove yourself towards the trash. They make a sound of alarm, before scrambling to your side. "Fuck, you're even worse than I thought. Are solid foods too much for you?" "...." Once your stomach settles, you begin to answer. "I... I haven't been eating for... weeks now." "What the fuck? How are you still [[alive?"]]

"I haven't been eating, the world of desires, the one that mirrors ours..." Everything seems to feel like it's spilling out tonight. You don't tell them that you're doing it for them, but they know you're doing it for someone. Their eyes are dark. "You know, I'm sorry, I didn't notice that you were going through all this." "I didn't want them to know. Not since I didn't know if it would work. It hasn't." A bitter laugh escapes your throat, "It hasn't. It was all a lie. I'm nothing... I've lost everything for nothing. Absolutely nothing." "That's a stupid pursuit anyways. Why are you letting them dictate you? Why are you trying so hard if they aren't going to appreciate you as you are? If they really loved you, they'd accept you and help you." "I'm disgusting. I've done all this shit, everyone just looks terrified now, whenever I try to help, I just seem to make it so much worse. Even you've looked at me like that." A crass sob [[pierces.]]

thump. thump. thump They're not too far away, you could make it if you sprinted. The hunger in your stomach grows, 'til it feels like it'll eat itself. Breathe. In. Out. In. Ou- It doesn't help. It makes everythiing worse. The world looks darker, and you can swear you can see their heart [[beat.]]

"Let's get you some rest, okay?" So gentle, so dear... "Fine..." You know you're not going to sleep, not when they're so close, not when they know everything. They lead you to a bedroom, point you to the necessities. They apologize for being unfit for guests. You wave them off, this level of hospitality was enough. [[The dark permeates, as you fall asleep.]]

The desperate demon leaps, onto the one they wanted so deeply. There's a cry in the air, beastly and human ring. The human begs and begs between screams. Clawless fingers grasp for anything they can find, trying to sink into the ribcage of rippling beats. The demon slams the human's body against the floor. Over. And Over. And Over. Again. Gurgles are the last thing that leaves human lips. The demon frowns, but pries the broken cage open. The heart is still... [[Silence, silence.]]

No bells ring for those slain by the demon, shells and souls ripped apart against feeble stitches. [[Mourn, mourn...->Ending]] (set:$silence to true)

In the dark, when there's only the ambient noise of traffic, there's a creeping terror that you never used to have. It's too quiet like this, the thoughts overcome. It leaves you with a paranoia. they're going to kill you, they're going to destroy you. they're far too kind. it's fake. they know, you monster. they'll kill you for it. Breathe. In. Out. They wouldn't do that, would they? (after:5s)[=(cycling-link:"Do they even believe you?", "They wouldn't...", "just say it's a wild hallucination brought on by malnutrition...","") (more:)[=[[yeah, you'll be fine...]]

The next morning, they approach first thing, "Let me help you, please." "What are you talking about?" "I did some research, about that world you were talking about... And if it's true, it's too dangerous for you to go alone. Let me help you." "I'm more... well-adjusted than you'd think. But thank you." It's insanity, that they're so willing to help. But it's not safe for someone like them. You'll be much safer than they will, besides, letting them see your true self? Abhorrent. You rush home and lock the doors. (after:5s)[=Scramble into the world... try to [[lock]] them out of it.

(set: $help to true)The darkness ripples around you when you enter, but there's a shift in the energy. Everything is agitated, discordant. It all screams of misfortune and loss. The cathedral still stands, but its lights are dimming, the color of fire instead of sparkling gold. The air flickers and beats with a weak pulse. You step inside the cathedral, no priests loom, yet. The center holds the altar, stairs to the catacombs [[bleed underneath.->Venture On]]

Into the catacombs, you travel to their depths, lights extinguishing even faster. A warbling cry resounds, "hide me, hide me, do not look upon me. i do not deserve your grace." It's the voice of your shadow, speaking (if:$help is false)[[[to no one->to no one]]](if:$help is true)[to your desire. Your shadow kneels in a coffin, and they stand above. [[They look terrified->Meet your shadow]]].

The warbling cries grow more desperate. "I hear them, I hear them. Protect me, protect me, I don't want to die. You approach it as its desperation turns to frenzy. "What are you talking about?" It grabs you with claws sinking into flesh, "They're here, they're here." "Who?" "The... [[the...]]"(set:$monstrous to false)

You don't know what to do. You want to scold them for their audacity, but you don't want to know what they think, now that they know. This isn't what you wanted, but here you are. You approach and [[call their name.]]

The name bounces throughout the catacombs, distorting until it's unrecognizable. The effect stays the same however, with their head snapping up into the dark, onto your face. "Oh, good, I found you." They breathe a sigh of relief, it feels genuine. The shadow crawls to sit at their feet, patiently, obediently. You turn your attention to it, as it gingerly reaches for your desire's hand. Your desire looks at you, with wary eyes. You don't know what to do, if it's safe for them to touch. It is [[monstrous]], but it is [[you.]]

A chanting begins which fills the entire cathedral. (if:$monstrous is false)["What's that?" "I told you, I told you! They're coming for me! They won't stop til everyone's dead."](if:$monstrous is true)[Its cries strangles and ceases. An urgency fills them.](if:$help is true)[Your desire's startle resounds through the corridor. The shadow leaps to cover their mouth.](if:$help is false)[They'll kill us both! They'll kill us!] "Quiet, quiet," the shadow hushes, hiding in the coffin. "I don't have-- everything's [[useless."]]

It couldn't be trusted. It was dangerous, and no matter how much it was you, it still wasn't to be trusted. Not with something so important. The shadow's aura flares and flickers, into a palpable smokiness around them. It darkens until the shadow whimpers, fleeing back into the coffin as the whimpers grow. "I'm not safe, I'm not safe, I'm not safe," is the mantra that leaves its mouth. "I'm not safe." Agony until it chokes, all whilst it continues the mantra, shortening and shortening until it fizzles out. Perhaps the beast is asleep. Lulled into a sleep of sheer exhaustion[[.->the...]] (set:$monstrous to true)

It's you. It'll be fine. You nod slowly, and your desire reaches their hand closer to your shadow. The shadow takes the hand with a delicate, reverent touch. It holds the limb to its hollow chest. "Protect me, protect me, protect me." It chants against your desire's skin. "They'll be coming again. And they won't stop this time. They know you're here, they know you're here. They'll kill us all..." [[They'll kill us all->the...]](set:$monstrous to false)

The chorus rises higher and higher, until they're right there. It becomes a cacophony of anger. "Burn them! Burn them!" (cycling-link:"not the fire","not again","don't burn me", "please...","")(more:)[=You're shaking, you feel them scorching your skin. Someone's calling your name? "Please, please. Please, no." Your body feels weightless. (cycling-link:"Squirm,", "they'll get you," , "they've caught you.","") (more:)[=[[Get free.]]

Your body, it's held down. Air's clear. Someone's talking. "Please, look at me." "Please, look at me." "Please." "You'll be safe." (after:10s)[=[[Everything clears.]]

You're being carried. The world flies around you. The slam of cathedral doors ring throughout. You're outside. A screech echoes as the shadow is kept inside. The priests swarm it, arms at the ready. (cycling-link: "you tried.","to outrun" ,"you don't get to do that","suffer, demon, for futile atonement","") (more:)[=Their words echo in your ears, even as the cathedral makes no [[sound.]]

There's no way to escape their noise, it bleeds into your ears, even through the empty. Your desire takes you far away from the cathedral, as much as they can. The shadows peer with glowing eyes into the symphonic scream emanating from the towering structure. You look over at your desire, their skin is shining with a layer of sweat. They're looking over their shoulder, afraid of everything that moves. "What the fuck. What the actual fuck was that." They stare at you, with horror in their eyes. "And you've been doing this by yourself every single day?" "I... just found the cathedral. That was where you found me last night." "You've been doing this shit every single night?" You can only [[nod.]]

They hug you tightly, "You're a goddamned idiot, I hope you know that. You need help, from now on, I'll go with you." "What? What do you mean? You're not going with me." You step back. "I will. I'll go back every single damn night, but you're not going alone. It's too dangerous." There's a fire in their eyes, something furious. "Why? What do you have to gain?" "I want to make sure you're taken care of. You've been so damn distant lately and I find out that this is what you're up to?" You're fucking ridiculous. You think it'll be fine? Fucking ridiculous." [[What the fuck made you do this shit?]]

Do you tell them? Do you tell them that they're [[the reason why?]] Do you tell them... Do you tell them that everything you've done was for them? Because you [[doubted]] them?

Everything comes spilling out. From everything you did try to gain their affection. Riches, purity, everything. Your slow descent into this absolute madness. It's absurd. You can't look at them. They stare with a certain type of dread. "I--Let's go home." They grab your hand with a fear, so palpable that it would be impossible to notice.The journey back is more like being dragged by the hand, their tension bleeding into you. You want to hide, but instead bundle under their blankets instead. They sleep on the couch, but you spend most of the time staring out at the twinkling lights... thinking. [[fear]] consumes you, at the idea of what they'll say. You don't want to find out, but you [[must.]] You could sneak out now if you really wanted.

You keep your mouth shut. It's for the best. They don't need to know this. (after:5s)[=[[They'll be fine.->They'll be fine.]]

You keep your mouth shut, and everything falls apart. Everything falls to pieces. They keep watching you, carefully, dutifully, but an escapade into the dark won't go unnoticed. You can't leave, and you can't risk endangering them. They'll chase you down themselves. What can you possibly do? Nothing. You can't do anything. You're not letting them go in there themself, but need food. Blood, sustenance, desires... all from the world of dark, but you [[can't.]] Cut them out, cut them down, remove the ties that bind.

Words are empty, Words untrue. Eyes are hard under pitying views. Under it you crumble, under it you shriek. Up all go, up and away. Hands slide upon your shoulders, hands slide across your throat. Tighter and tighter until you can't breathe. "Sorry, this is what happens to those who stray." You die in fire, without the ice to soothe your soul. Perhaps it's better, that your desire is not here. To see their hatred and their dismay. To know you failed so horridly. Maybe it's better, to know they don't care. Better than knowing they care so much. A final glimpse into dark blue eyes, a final glimpse into starry skies[[.->Ending]](set:$starry to true)

The fear sets in, unshakable. You can't do this. You can't do this. You can't look them in the eye. Even if they love you, it cannot erase the horrors you've [[become.->become as gods]]

They stare at you with a certain look of sadness, whether it pity or sympathy, you cannot tell. "You did all this, all this for me? Because you thought I wouldn't love you as you were?" They scoff, "I did all this... I wanted to be loved by someone who never looked my way. Who always had someone else in their eyes. And you're fucking telling me that everything I've fucking seen was wrong? You're fucking ridiculous." "Tell me, what did you see? Who was I looking at?" [["You..."]]

cut them out... cut them down... wasn't this what you wanted? isn't this what you told them to do? to leave you? you've no right to be upset when they've gone. when they've finally given up on you. You have no— You want it all to stop; you want it all to stop. The clamor in your head and the racket in your heart. maybe next time, next life, you'll finally have no heart. maybe next time... you wonder if anyone will notice, notice when everything stops. even your desire left when they dropped all but their heart at your feet. maybe you won't get another life, too damned to be worth it. you can't help but smile at the thought. the electricity in your heart searing at the idea. the curse that you are won't have to exist; the curse that you are will never be inflicted again on them. yes. this was for the best. you wonder what would be good, something clean and easy. so many seem extra, so many seem crude. they've been a good host, you'd hate to leave a stain. in the world of darkwhere no one will hear your cries. where maybe even your corpse will [[disappear...->Ending]](set:$gods to true)

you can't remember. they were looking at someone... "someone... beautiful. attractive. it wasn't me." hollow laughter. cold echoes. fervent denials. a hug. (after:5s)[=It grounds you. You're here. You're safe. Would they really have gone to these lengths? They are strong and true to you... [[You'll make it work.->Another dive]]

o child, look at what you have been given, look at what you always had. take a leap of faith for once. the road you walk is long, arduous and inhuman, but there will always be your light to guide you home. welcome, o child, welcome home. [[Welcome Home->Ending]](set:$truth to true)

Another dive into the dark, to where the cathedral once stood... the building burns, opaque smoke leaves only the distance to tell. The noise of the priests, the darkness, the demonics, it still leaves a hollow hum. Venturing into the decrepit church, your shadow stands. The catacombs still grow as you still feed, but you feel so much lighter... Your shadow lingers, but no longer is it emaciated, still quite gaunt. It looks your way, with a contentment in its eyes[[...->You'll make it work.]]

[[Walk on]],[[or perhaps seek respite->credits]]

(if:$truth is true)[The prayers for you have been heard.] (if:$truth is not true)[(click-goto:?page,"credits")(set:$beginning to true)] (set:$ending to false) (set:$truth to false)

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